Why You May Not Want to Hang Out With a Writer

writer2Sometimes when I’m up late, not feeling creative enough to write and I want to knock myself out so that I can sleep, I site hop around the internet. It seems I always find something worth saving, and last night I came across the following. It started out as a little meme about why you might want to hang out with or date a writer. Then someone else posted it, adding their own two cents why you would not want to do such a thing. I thought it was funny so here it is for you.

WRITERS WILL ROMANCE YOU WITH WORDS.
We probably won’t. We write for ourselves, or for money, and by the time we’re done, we’re sick of it. If we have to write you something, there’s a good chance it’ll take us two days and we’ll be really snippy and grumpy about the process.

WRITERS WILL WRITE ABOUT YOU.
You don’t want this. Trust me.

WRITERS WILL TAKE YOU TO INTERESTING EVENTS.
No. We will not. We are busy writing. Leave us alone about these “interesting events.” I know one person who dates a terrific writer. He goes out alone. She is busy writing.

WRITERS WILL ACKNOWLEDGE YOU AND WILL DEDICATE THINGS TO YOU.
A better way to ensure this would be to become an agent. That way you’d actually make money off of talking people through their neuroses.

WRITERS WILL PRESENT YOU WITH AN INTERESTING PERSPECTIVE OF THINGS.
Yes. Constantly. While you’re trying to watch TV, or take a shower. You will have to listen to observations all day long, in addition to being asked to read the observations we wrote about when you were at work and unavailable for bothering. It will be almost as annoying as dating a stand-up comedian, except if you don’t find these observations scintillating, we will think you’re dumb, instead of uptight.

WRITERS ARE SMART.
The moment you realize this is not true, your relationship with a writer will develop a significant problem.

WRITERS ARE REALLY PASSIONATE.
About writing. Not necessarily about you.

WRITERS CAN THINK THROUGH THEIR FEELINGS.
So don’t start an argument unless you’re ready for a very, very lengthy explication of our position, our feelings about your position, and what scenes from our recent fiction the whole thing is reminding us of.

WRITERS ENJOY THEIR SOLITUDE.
So get lost, will you?

WRITERS WEAR THEIR HEARTS ON THEIR SLEEVES.
Serious advice: if you meet a writer who’s actually demonstrative, be careful.

WRITERS WILL TEACH YOU COOL NEW WORDS.
This is possibly true! We may also expect you to remember them, correct your grammar, and look pained after reading mundane notes you’ve left for us.

WRITERS MAY BE ABLE TO ADJUST THEIR SCHEDULES FOR YOU.
Writers may be able to adjust their schedules for writing. Get in line, then.

WRITERS CAN FIND 1000 WAYS TO SAY WHAT THEY LIKE ABOUT YOU.
By the 108th you’ll be pretty sure we’re just making them up for fun.

WRITERS CAN COMMUNICATE IN A BUNCH OF DIFFERENT WAYS.
But mostly writing. Hope you don’t like talking on the phone—that shit is rough.

WRITERS ARE SURROUNDED BY INTERESTING PEOPLE.
Every last one of whom is imaginary.

WRITERS ARE SEXY.
No argument. Some people think this about heroin addicts, too.

Continue Reading

With A Dream

withadreamadMany of you will remember that With A Dream, Book 1 of my rock and roll series, Beyond The Bridge, was initially published in 2011. In a perfect world that edition would have been flawless. The problem was, it was my first attempt at wearing all the hats as a self-published author, and mistakes were made. Later, I combined Books 1 and 2 to create a Special Edition, which was fine except that it just didn’t sell. Over the past few months I’ve analyzed why, and I came to the conclusion that the cover needed to be redesigned. While I was at it, I decided to just go and rewrite and whole damn thing. I made other changes, too. The size is more portable and the typeface is easier to read.

So here we are with a new edition, which is the final edition. I’ve already moved on to reworking With A Bullet (Book 2). Next, I’ll tackle With A Promise (Book 3) and Enharmonic Intervals (Book 4). The good news is that With A Dream is in the can, so to speak, and is available at Amazon.

If you bought either or both of these books in paperback form, you are eligible to receive signed replacement copies AT COST ($4.50 each). Just use the email form on the Contact page to find out how to verify your eligibility.  This is a huge savings, guys. Take me up on it!

Continue Reading

A Little Bluer, If You Please

synesthesia

Every now and again I think I might take up walking as a means to find interesting things to photograph for this blog. One of my all-time favorite blogs is The Smitten Image, where the author and photographer shares her visual and emotional perceptions of the world in which she lives. Each post, besides being beautiful, draws her readers into her sensual experience and each post has a different theme. These aren’t just snapshots, folks. Her posts are carefully and painstakingly put together, often using photos she takes at different times and during different walks. And every time she posts a new entry I come away feeling inspired to capture my world in a similar manner.

The problem is, I’m not really a visual person and there is no camera out there (that I know of) that can visualize what I hear when I go for a walk. I experience life aurally and, although I’m a synesthete (or maybe because I am), it’s the aural that stimulates the visual. Simply put, I hear first, which then triggers the visual. Hearing the world around me comes naturally and automatically; I do absolutely nothing to make this happen, and trying to be a visual person is like trying to make myself left-handed. It makes my brain hurt. For me, middle C is a glowing yellow ball, E is a red lightening streak, G is a green leaf-like shape, and A is a boisterous, wash of blue sky. And all of these have soft edges, like watercolors, which is why images like this one are so appealing to me. I’d love to have this framed and on my wall. It brings me a sense of balance and peace, because it settles all the noise in my head into perfect harmony and resolution.

palette
I hear music when I look at this.

This is called synethesia, which means my senses cross paths in my brain. There are five known types of synesthesia. You can take a test here if you suspect you might also be a synesthete.

So, until something happens to either my brain, or my ability to shut this off (which I’d never want to do!) you probably won’t see many posts from me that are strictly of photographs. I suggest you visit The Smitten Image for some truly beautiful and insightful photos.

__________

About the Title of This Entry:
When Liszt first began as Kapellmeister in Weimar (1842), it astonished the orchestra that he said, “O please, gentlemen, a little bluer, if you please! This tone type requires it!” Or “That is a deep violet, please, depend on it! Not so rose!” First the orchestra believed Liszt just joked; later they got accustomed to the fact that the great musician seemed to see colors where there were only tones.

Continue Reading

Quiet Zone

deep-silence-joachim-g-pinkawa

I enjoy a great deal of quiet in my life. Not as much I’d like to, but enough to keep me happy and sane. Because I was raised in a quiet household, unnecessary noise really bothers me. Slamming doors, loud voices, visual clutter, and emotional unrest really play havoc with my nervous system. I’m not sure I’ve completely recovered from the “noise” that invaded my life in the ’90s, but it’s gotten better and I at least feel that I have some control over the volume in my life. I’m constantly having to nudge the clip and gain, but for the most part, the master volume remains well below the red line.

Some people are loud because they need attention. Some people need noise because they’re uncomfortable with silence. Some people need noise because they simply know no better. It’s the first one that wears me down the most, but sometimes that kind of noise is so deeply ingrained, even they don’t realize the attention-getting demands of their personal volume levels. Slamming cupboard doors and talking far too loudly for whatever room they’re in has become involuntary. Like kids whose voices get louder and louder the more their parent ignores them, some people talk, laugh, bump, close doors, and just generally go through life more loudly than is necessary.

“Silence is only frightening to people
who are compulsively verbalizing.”

William S. Burroughs

If you’ve been reading my blog very long you already know that I find a direct correlation between what goes on outside a person and what goes on inside them; I often refer to this as my “as above so below” rule. Do we really need to call attention to ourselves in everything we do? This is why boom cars irk me so much. I feel hijacked while that car drives by, or sits in the driveway across the street. “LOOK AT ME!” That’s what gets to me. I don’t know you and, chances are I’m never going to know you, so why should I be forced to listen to you? If you want everyone’s attention then do something worth paying attention to. Be considerate of your neighbors. That’ll get my attention, but your loud car stereo and your headlights shining in my window at three in the morning tell me only that you’re part of the troubled, insecure, inconsiderate masses shouting and slamming your way through life in a vain attempt to feel significant. But guess what? Unless you start paying attention you’re pretty much damned to being exactly what you are right now: a human noisemaker, never developing the new brain cells it takes to create true and lasting significance. You’ll spend the rest of your days waking up to loud music, a squabbling family, a loud car stereo, your loud workplace, the TV, and then your loud earbuds that help you sleep at night. Noise +noise + noise = stunted brain and crippled personal growth. Zero evolution. Recent studies found that two hours of silence daily leads to the development of new cells in the hippocampus, a key brain region associated with learning, memory, and emotion. I rest my case.

“Nowadays men lead lives of noisy desperation.”
James Thurber

Of course, I’m being half-silly here and today I’m feeling a bit more generous. Today, I’m able to see that the unnecessary noise people make is nothing but a deep need to feel they matter, that their existence holds some small significance. “LOOK AT ME!” becomes “I matter… don’t I?” And when I look at it like that, I can be more patient. I admit I have a lot of inner noise. That’s why outer noise is so disturbing for me. Until I moved to this small university town, I’d never lived in so much constant, unrelenting outer noise. I blame this on the lack of adequate noise ordinances. Even in Denver, a huge metropolis, there were ordinances in place concerning car stereos, and signs were posted that warned drivers to keep their music to a sane volume or else they’d get ticketed.

I realize that being raised in the country has a lot to do with my lack of tolerance for noise, and this is why I’m so dedicated to returning to the country life just as soon as we are able. Meantime, I work at turning down my own unnecessary noise. I don’t have to turn a yawn or a sneeze into a news bulletin. I can speak with a softer voice. As for the outer noise, I write, I think, and I meditate while giving myself an hypnotic suggestion that the noise on this corner, with its boom cars, sirens, muffler-tip pickups, and screaming kids, is completely natural to my current situation. Sometimes things are quiet, but sometimes it just doesn’t work. And sometimes I’m just going to yawn really loud.
__________

Good Reading: Why Silence Is So Good For The Brain
Photo Credit: Deep Silence by Joachim G. Pinkawa

Continue Reading